Awhile back my husband, Craig and I were at each other’s throats. Nothing major, just bickering all the time. How two firstborns who like to be in charge with strong bossy and competitive streaks ever got along enough to get married, stay married and start a business together, I’ll never know. When we’re in the middle of a standoff, one of us will inevitably drop the bomb “It’s Craig’s World” or “It’s Jennifer’s World” sarcastically which mainly means that we’re accusing the other of thinking they’re the center of the universe and all minions should fall into place around their feet. Thinking about it now, when we’re not fighting, the phrase is kind of funny.
Nevertheless, about a year ago our church, Life Church taught a series about strengthening marriages. Our life group decided to do in in-depth study alongside and held ourselves accountable to read “Love and War – Finding the Marriage you Dreamed of” by John and Staci Eldredge. As God often does, He threw challenges in each couples’ relationships during that time. Why does it always seem that when you think you’re getting a grip on a new challenging area in your spiritual life, the stakes get raised and Achilles’ heel challenges seem to dog pile? I guess that’s spiritual warfare. Anyway, our life group is a major blessing. This group of misfit couples have been mentors and friends in our lives for 2 ½ years now. We love them dearly and have grown to “doing life together” with these people. The majority of them almost our parents’ age and some of them having been friends for longer than we’ve been alive, this is a group of people that had we not stumbled into this group years ago, we probably never would have met, let alone become completely transparent with.
We usually meet in the charming dining room of an old landmark inn in Edmond, The Arcadian Inn. This 3-story yellow house perched in the center of Edmond, on the corner of the University of Central Oklahoma campus, was built by Dr. and Mrs. Ruhl in 1908. Gary and Martha Hall, the innkeepers purchased it in such disrepair, it was pretty much just a shell of a home in 1989. Martha had dreamed of one day owning a “great big house with lots of people in it”. She exudes hospitality with comfort food cooking and continuous holiday decorating. Her husband, Gary is a jack-of-all-trades. He too, offers a kind smile and gentle demeanor with his white beard and soft spoken tone. He can manage a team and can fix anything though. He, with help from his family, pretty much rebuilt that old mansion into the gem it is today with their own bare hands.
The Arcadian Inn is like home to our group. Each week, we excitedly gather to see what creative treat Martha has prepared. Every once in awhile she’ll go all out and present a themed (of course) full course dinner. The husbands in the group are always excited about this chance to get a “real home cooked meal” (a jab at their wives’ lack of cooking skills of course).
Our little life group has opened up doors creating transparency in each of our lives and marriages. We’ve cried together (a lot), prayed together (a lot), laughed together (a lot) and groaned “Oh Martha!” when she embarrassingly brings up a sex topic A-gain. Who other than God could have orchestrated such an unlikely group of friends to help mentor, encourage and hold each other accountable? The love in this group has helped Craig and I learn to be more loving and accepting of each other and has helped us realize the dream of too starting a great adventure and looking back on it after 20 years of success as Gary and Martha have paved the way.